Your Stories that Tell our History

Some Miracles at Agape

I had not heard too much about a counseling center at Browncroft Community Church until a friend asked me to go along with her to attend "Lay counseling Classes" once a week. I thought I would attend to have better knowledge how to help people and I found out that I would gain new insights about myself and then possibly, I could better help others during their problems times . One class period Kathy would share with the class that Agape needed a person to answer the phone during the day. I wrote her a note volunteering and thereby I entered into a most exciting and blessed time of my life. Very soon, I would know that Agape is a place of God's miracles. I want to share some memories that I would see happen at Agape.

The caller was hysterical but finally the words came out "My eight-year-old son just tried to commit suicide. I need help now!". I assured her that I would call her right back. I looked at the doors of the counseling rooms. One was open slightly and I knew they were not in session. The counselor was at her desk, reading her Bible. Her answer was "I just had a cancellation for this afternoon at 3:00… call her back". We each knew God was already working to help a precious child.

The young husband and wife walked in and sat, waiting for their session time. Two things were obvious: they were not friends and she was very large with child. Later, I would see them come in with a tiny baby… then carrying a little boy. Months later, this family walked in following the little boy who was struggling to walk. Admiringly I said to the little guy "My, you are doing so well." The proud father gave the answer: "We are all doing very well".

She had just come from her counseling session and wanted to share her joy with me. She had carried her burden for 19 years… and today seemed freedom.. The guilt of having an abortion had been too heavy to carry alone so she came to Agape. It was not an easy task for her to walk though the guilt and forgiveness. In one session, she described what her son would look like today at age 19. She gave him a name…and on this day, she was able to ask her son's forgiveness for aborting him. Today she was able to tell me of her burden being lifted. Today she felt totally forgiven by her son and by God. Today the burden was lighter… not forgotten but forgiven and the burden was bearable.

He was an older pastor who had been asked to be the interim pastor for a very young, growing church. A major problem had happened and the church was in danger of a split. He was sent to literally save the congregation. But now the same trouble was causing this older pastor much inner conflict. His wife kept urging him to come to Agape to give him wisdom and direction and to be able to sleep well again. Now ten years later, he continues to praise his counselor for giving him insight into handling the individuals causing the problems. And he was able to help the church survive. Making the way smoother for a younger pastor.

A young teenager who was using drugs with high school friends caused his parents to seek out Agape to give them guidance as to the rules they needed to use to help the boy and yet not split their relationship with their son. They loved him so much but were fearful of his future. Years later this son has a wonderful Christian family and a very good job. They are now going through a very stressful experience with his wife having a second bout of breast cancer. The closeness he has with his parents and the faith they have shown him going through good times and bad times is literally helping he and his wife and his young daughters with the strength and faith to survive whatever the future holds for them. This family and other persons who have been to Agape and experienced healing and faith through the professional counselors at Agape are blessed. I deeply believe that the next generation and the next and the next will be affected. That the counselors and staff and those who have supported Agape with prayers and money will know on that "great day" of those who finished the journey and found peace through Agape and through many others who cared enough to provide the human touch needed in Jesus' name. Amen.

Clarice Rose close [X]

June 3, 2008

Dear Kathy and Agape Associates,

Congratulations on this, the 30th anniversary of Agape Counseling Associates, Inc.!

Fond memories come to mind as I revisit and recall the days when Agape was just in its infancy. At that time, Agape was a one-office operation with a small and cramped interviewing room located at one end of the church library at Browncroft Community Church. The staff was small and had to share and reserve that single office on a calendar in order to keep straight when it was available to schedule appointments. Throughout these past three decades, your dedication and devotion have been used by God to touch and transform the lives of others. While being influenced by Agape counselors, thousands have been motivated to pursue wholeness and holiness. Also, people have been inspired to build their lives, marriages and families according to God's blueprint.

The world is a better place because of the good work of Agape Counseling Associates. As a matter of fact, Agape Counseling Associates has become synonymous with world-change! May future generations continue to experience and enjoy the goodness and Grace of God in their lives as you and your team of faithful Christ-followers continue to make a difference.

Appreciatively,

John Lohman. M. Div., LMFT
Pastor of Family Life and Counseling close [X]

June 15, 2008

Dear Friends,

I was privileged to have had the opportunity to work at Agape Counseling Associates during 2005-2006. The staff and board created a warm and inviting atmosphere, from Christmas celebrations at productions of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat to more intimate gatherings in Kathy Elliot's home. There was a time of great sadness with the untimely death of our fellow colleague, Barbara Borgese. The way the people of Agape responded to her loss demonstrated a sincere caring for each other and for clients. There were other times of challenge and growth as we were videotaped doing impromptu speeches, and as each one of us played a vital role during the staff retreat.

Regular group, individual, and peer supervision were valuable forums for fulfilling the mission "to provide excellent professional counseling that integrates Biblical truth with proven methods of psychological healing in order that individuals find spiritual, emotional, and psychological wholeness." We experienced some hearty laughs and genuine compassion as we shared some of our own life stories while learning to effectively help others. As always, serving the clients of Agape was an honor, and I appreciate the relationship we shared as each one shared his or her pain and successes with me.

Agape is an agency which strives for excellence in many forums, while also seeking to honor God. It was a sad day for me when I needed to leave Agape and move to Michigan for my husband's job. I would have really enjoyed growing with Agape. I wish you well and pray for your next 30+ years!

Warmly,

Kristin Barnhart close [X]

Memories Of The Years At Agape

As I think back to the year 1977-1978 and peruse in my mind through the intervening years, many memories come flooding in and it is difficult to settle on just one. Agape grew from the commitment of a small group of people from Brighton Community Church (now Browncroft Community Church) who believed wholeheartedly in the need for and value of making Christian Counseling available, primarily to our church, but also to our community. Those of us who had advanced degrees qualifying us and who had a desire to be involved in such a ministry stepped forward. The early years found us using empty rooms with a couple of folding chairs, or, depending on usage, the church library which had softer seats and was cozier.

In 1980, after the church moved to its present location, we were able to use the lounge in B Hall or a small room off the old library (which is now offices) which had been the janitor's closet. That space is now incorporated in what has become the senior pastor's office. After a few years we received permission to use 2 classrooms at the end of C Hall. In those days we used sweat equity and those of us connected to Agape came in and tore down the connecting cinder block wall and prepared the area for its division into 4 individual offices with a reception desk and work area. I recall that time with fondness because it was fun and a real time of bonding for the staff. Later the reception area was moved and a 5th smaller room was added. It was so good to finally have a space of our own. We began having weekly staff in-service meetings where we kept current with new developments in the mental health field. We also shared our expertise with each other and had challenging discussions. We were also encouraged to go to workshops. A regular newsletter began being sent out to those who had interest in our ministry. We also developed an office on the west side at Pearce Memorial Church. Over all the years Agape has been bathed in prayer by not only its staff but also by clients and by church members.

We began to have an annual retreat at some point and also to have a yearly picnic. This allowed us to continue to bond, especially as changes occurred in staffing. As an agency we became more professional over the years, adopting a sliding fee scale, having offices that were more inviting, and having a staff that grew into its role as being representatives of the Lord.

My last big memory of Agape occurred about 3 weeks before I retired. We were in our regular Tuesday morning staff meeting when our receptionist came in and told us what was happening in NYC – it was 9/11/01. We immediately stopped what we were doing and began to pray and cry. We watched on TV as the towers fell and we could hardly believe what we were seeing. I couldn't have asked for a better place to be when the news reached us. We were of one heart and mind and the prayer was comforting. Throughout that day and week the event came up in sessions with clients and I was thankful to be in a place to offer hope to those who were in distress.

Since I've retired Agape has continued to grow and change and it's been a thrill to see it successfully move into a professional office building. I trust that God will continue to lead and bless Agape in the years to come.

Anita Olsson close [X]

May 26, 2008

My association with Agape Counseling Associates brings to mind great memories working with Kathy Elliott and the several board members I worked along side of in ministry. As we worked through concerns, shared blessings, and dealt with problems we were able to work and pray together for the success of the organization. But the greatest blessing was knowing people needing the services of Agape were being helped in a Christian care center with Christian counselors. Praise God for his faithfulness and for the faithfulness of each staff member and every client. Agape was and is able to really care for all who avail themselves of the services provided. Every counseling staff member was and is truly professional and committed to the service of others in Jesus' name.

It was an honor for me to be involved in the ministry of Agape.

God Bless Agape and all it's staff past and present on 30 years of service.

Steve Wilkins close [X]

March 1, 2008

Hi to all! Here is what I can say about my early days at Agape.

I became a part time counselor at Agape in 1980, long enough ago that my first meeting was at the Brighton Community Church.

Counseling was a second career for me, and I had just opened The Christian Counseling Service in Penfield after completing my MSW degree.

A wonderful benefit of working at Agape was meeting with the capable and friendly counselors on a regular basis. Excellent colleagues! They remain close to my heart to this day.

I particularly appreciated the regular staff meetings where we discussed techniques and cases, and the in-service sessions which Kathy arranged for us from time to time. When I started at Agape, I was the greenest of all the counselors, so I benefited greatly from the opportunities provided for professional growth. Fortunately, my practice built up rather quickly, helping me gain experience at a fast pace. Consequently I began to be able to contribute ideas and information to the group.

I have been retired for several years now but my contacts with the staff and consumers at Agape constitute a very significant period in my life. One of the best things about Agape is that everyone there seems to be comfortable in the Christian life…a great setting in which to participate.

Isabel H. Bolinger close [X]

March 18, 2008

Kathy,

I was pleased to hear from you and surprised that 30 years have passed since Agape was born. Founders like you must ultimately choose whether to identify with the beginnings of their organization or disengage, so as to maintain a youthful image. In this case, we are all impressed with the fact that Kathy Elliott birthed Agape at the age of 9. What a story! Stick to it!

My memories of Agape span the late eighties and early nineties. While configuring congregational life to meet the increasingly complex needs of persons, Agape was a gift. Why would pastors stretch to do clinical work when gifted counselors were available and competent to move people toward wholeness? I have no regrets for having moved Pearce Memorial Church toward full cooperation with this wonderful initiative. "There is a diversity of Christian callings," to quote Stott, and thankfully, Agape is called to the ministry of counseling.

The staff, Board and volunteers at Agape were a means of grace to me and to the people I served.

Thank you,
Gary Walsh close [X]

March 20, 2008

Dear Friends at Agape,

First of all thank you for sending me the newsletter of Agape.

I'd like to tell you about my story with Agape.

I wanted to learn more about the best way to help the hurting people in the church, the Lord's body, so I registered and took a 7 week Psychology Course in 1988. Anne Noonan was my teacher. What a special experience! What a good teacher!

Anne asked me, at the beginning what I wanted to learn from the class. At the end she asked me again and I said that everything I learned in God's Word was reaffirmed in the class. Two things I needed to hear again and remember, are that my security and my significance are found alone in Jesus.

The chapter in God's Word, was one that will always be very special to me, is Colossians Chapter 3 verses 12-17.

Much later, as a client, with a family problem, Anne helped me to cope with it and the Lord blessed and helped me through it to grow closer to Him.

Over the years I've encouraged others to come to Agape for help.

Thanks in Him,
Magdalene VandenBout close [X]

March 13, 2008

Dear Kathy,

Lois asked me to respond for both of us to your gracious invitation to your 30th Anniversary Celebration. It would be so nice to be there but we will need to decline, regretfully. As you may know, I am still preaching regularly in the Presbyterian churches in this community and have already scheduled several Sundays away during the spring and summer.

We both have such good memories of Agape – Lois from her work in the office where she made friends that were very special to her on many occasions. While it is true that distance has made necessary changes in relationships it is also true that Lois values the support she was given as she worked with the Agape counseling personnel and office staff.

For me, having a professional counseling center "just down the hall" was a boon to ministry that I valued very highly. While the professionalism of Agape's counseling personnel was significant, of great importance to me was the assurance that any person I referred there would be involved with a counselor who understood the Christian faith and would lead clients to a solution to their problem and a strengthening of their personal faith in Christ.

Agape would have been just five years old when we began our service to Browncroft Community Church. God has certainly blessed the vision you had, Kathy, and used Agape in many marvelous ways. We pray that the work which has meant so much to so many will continue to be used by our Lord. And we pray that as you induct new leadership for Agape you will sense God's blessing and direction both for yourself and for the Counseling Center.

Yours in Christ,

Walter and Lois Winger close [X]

March 16, 2008

Dear Kathy and folks at Agape,

Congratulations on your 30th Anniversary! I'm sure countless people have been helped by Agape's ministry. Kathy, I am amazed that you remember and have used the bit about soul ties; I don't even remember sharing this with you.

My memories of working at Agape; in a word teamwork! It seemed like the Body of Christ to me. We were all different, yet there was such acceptance and appreciation for our various special giftings and interests. I felt we really respected one another and this respect extended to our clients. I remember how Ann Noonan and I complimented each other in the groups we did. She was the sweet supportive one with that soothing southern accent and charm she has, and I got to be the confrontive one who seemed to some a little scary with my tough love interventions. I loved it, and it worked for our clients.

It was such a treat to be a part of the Agape staff, even if only for a short time. I felt "seen" not only as a counselor, but as a person.

My prayers are with you for many more fruitful years. Special hellos to Ann Noonan if she should ever read this, to Joan Woody and of course to you Kathy.

Love,

Karla Chrisman close [X]

Remembering Times at Agape

Sometime around 1990 I came to know of Agape through Barbara Borgese, my best friend, who was a counselor at the West side office. I worked in that office as a secretary receptionist for 4-5 years. I've been saying since, that it was the best job I ever had. Here is "my story."

The Lord knows how things will finally turn out
    Even though we seldom can figure it out.
As usual, without our knowing
    He had some seeds He wanted sowing.

Barb and I were having a chat
    discussing a little of this and that.
For instance, my sick finances and heavy debt.
    I needed to find a job and yet,

Physically I wasn't up for much,
    but could I be a receptionist or such?
"Maybe," she said, "I know of a way.
    They need one at Agape, I've heard say."

(I knew of Agape's office on the West side.
    I lived quite near, just a five-mile ride.)
"Well, whaddya think, would they hire me?"
    "Don't know," she said. "But I'll ask and see."

Well, hurray for Barb's talk with her boss, Ann Noonan.
    I got an interview! My future was bloomin'!
They assigned me a desk in the office, (How neat!)
    Which was a part of the West side office suite.

Group room, video room, waiting room and more,
    And four nice counseling offices on the floor.
Coffee for clients and books to borrow.
    I looked forward to every tomorrow.

I was filing, folding, taking each call,
    smiling at clients in the hall.
Hard-working counselors' to ease some stress,
    Stopped at my desk - for laughs I guess.

Agape was growing in jumps and bursts.
    New technology, equipment, many firsts.
Changes and improvements back-to-back.
    "Move over typewriter! Here comes a MAC!"

As the Agency grew, my responsibilities expanded.
    I was ever-so-happy with the job I had landed.
Taking messages, counting money, bulk mailings and more,
    Bulletin boards and even Christmas decor.

And suddenly - Ann was leaving! I choked on a sob.
    Could this be happening to my perfect job!?
I had no idea I was so attached to her.
    Maybe I needed a counselor?

Well, Ann was happy, and I survived the loss.
    I learned to work with a brand new boss.
Good grief! It was Dan! The age of my kid!
    But we made it work. We actually did.

Sometimes we laughed until we were hoarse.
    But always professional, of course, of course.
Whether practical jokes or gestures kind,
    We on the staff were all of one mind.

The maintenance men were sometimes about,
    and other counselors were in and out.
A friendly bunch, I remember well.
    A very fine caliber of personnel.

But Barbara, Beth and "Lady Ann,"
    and my favorite nemises, "Boss-man Dan,
Are the ones that I best recall.
    For me, the rocks in the foundation wall.

And so the Lord, Giver of all blessings and JOY,
    Met my need with the perfect employ.
I'm one of thousands blessed by the fruition
    Of God's great, growing gift – Agape's mission.

I'll never forget my Agape days, never!
    It was the very best job I had, ever!
I received and gave much laughter, some tears.
    And I'm happy I've been part of these Thirty Years!


May A. Dembowski close [X]

30th anniversary

First, I want to congratulate you for your outstanding leadership of Agape over these 30 years! You had a vision and, I believe a call, to develop, organize and lead the first professional Christian counseling service I know of in the Greater Rochester area. It has been an outstanding success. You have led with passion, with humility and with perseverance. God has greatly blessed Agape, making it a source of healing and restoration for hundreds if not thousands. What a legacy!

Personal memories I have of the early years include sitting in our sun room on Clover St. discussing your dreams for Agape and some of the practical issues you were dealing with in getting started. I think I offered little more than encouragement but I certainly was all in favor of what you were doing.

I also remember doing a few in service training sessions, which I greatly enjoyed, since everyone was so keen to learn and to develop their skills. I remember we did one on establishing and maintaining appropriate role boundaries in therapy.

Occasionally, I would see a client from Agape for consultation or medication treatment over in my office at the medical center. Again, congratulations. And best wishes to you and to Agape for an exciting future of service and healing.

Dr. Roger Sider close [X]